Pregnant again!

I'm pregnant again! I am so excited! and... scared, nervous, worried, happy, and about a million other things. I had NO idea how much more labor intensive being pregnant would be having type 1 diabetes. I have to go to the doctor every 2-3 weeks instead of once a month and have to send my doctor my sugars every week. I am very high risk and have a doctor more prepared for my needs. They told me that during my 3rd trimester I would have to go in twice a week for stress tests. I'm not looking forward to that. I work full-time and their appointment times are not very flexible; luckily I think my boss will be good to work with me. So far I think my sugars have been pretty good. I have had a couple of highs, but nothing above 190. I am really nervous for when I get to the point in my pregnancy when I will have to start to adjust my insulin ratio. I am pretty comfortable with what I am at now, but my doctors told me that I will become more insulin resistant and will need to use more and more. I haven't been too sick, just a little bit. I don't really feel that great most of the time but I am able to function fine. This pregnancy has been pretty similar to my first one so far. I am really scared that something is going to go wrong again or that my increased risks for my baby developing problems will occur though. I sure hope we can have a happy, healthy, normal baby without any mental or physical disabilities. My husband has been so wonderful, but worries too much, which I feel bad about.

With the holidays coming up, I feel really awful that I don't have my little boy here to celebrate with us. I sure hope he is helping his new sibling along this time. My aunt also passed away during the summer and it will be hard without her here with us, too. Hope, prayers, and love keep me going.

Hubs Birthday

Yesterday was husband's birthday. He had to drive to St. George to pick up a trailer his dad bought, so we celebrated on Friday. His friend texted him to see if he wanted to do a double date (I don't think they had a clue it was husband's birthday the next day). We went to Sizzler and to see the new Disney movie "Brave." I thought it was really cute; not what I was expecting at all. It was a nice night. I hope he had a good birthday. He got some tools, movies, and a game.

Parts of life still suck. My aunt has pancreatic cancer and it is very aggressive. I wish she didn't have to go through this or be in this pain. I feel like she still had a lot more life to live, but I guess we don't get to pick when we leave this earth. She has done so much for me in my life and has been a huge help. I just hope she doesn't have to suffer for too long. 

I haven't been taking any pictures.. I just don't see the point any more. I thought when we had our first child that I would have more of a reason to take pictures and video. I hope and pray that one day I will be able to have a happy healthy baby who never gets diabetes. I feel that controlling my blood sugars while being pregnant will be very difficult, but I am willing to do it and think it is worth it. 

Summer is GREAT!

Ah, I am so happy it is finally warm outside; sadly my office is freezing so I wear a jacket all day. Oh well, it's nice to take a break and see the sun. My brother-in-law introduced my husband to a new show called "Duck Dynasty." I'm hooked! It is hilarious! Everyone should watch it. I'm sad there has only been one season though.

Tomorrow is mine and my husband's third year anniversary. It has been a great three years, except for our recent events. I have been wanting to go mini golfing for a while, so hopefully we will be able to do that and then go to dinner. My cousin's homecoming is Sunday and then Husband's birthday is next Saturday; busy week.

My doctor said that my numbers have been good for my blood sugar. I think I have been managing it pretty well so far. I probably snack during meals more than I should so that is something I need to work on. It is hard to not only take insulin before every meal but to have to wait 4 hours for the insulin to wear off before I can take more. Still adjusting but getting better.

New things..

Hi, I'm new.. I'm new to blogging and I'm new to being a type 1 diabetic.

I really knew nothing about diabetes until about a month ago. I was 24 weeks pregnant and it caused me to lose my sweet baby boy. We didn't know what was going on, but Husband decided that he needed to take me to the ER. I was in an out of sleep most of the time so I don't remember a lot of what happened the first little while but I had a blood glucose level of almost 1200. A normal person has a blood glucose level of between 70-120, so I was dangerously high. I went in on Saturday, had baby boy early Sunday morning, and was discharged Tuesday evening. By then, my whole world had changed.

"What do you mean I have to take a shot every time I eat?" 

This was a bit shocking to me, but I have kind of just accepted it and figure there is not much I can do about it. It has been getting easier each day but I have a feeling that it is going to get a lot harder. I am so thankful and grateful for modern medicine. I now cannot live without insulin, but boy are the supplies expensive! I am absolutely terrified for the day I don't have health insurance. (I currently have it, husband doesn't, but what happens if for some reason I no longer have it??) Scares me to death!

I miss my boy every single day. I am doing a lot better now, time does heal, but there are little triggers that set me off. I think Husband is having a really hard time still, but I don't know how to help him. Hopefully time will help him, also. He visited baby's grave today. I hope that can help him heal some even as painful as it is. He said that there were several flowers by his grave. I have no idea who brought them, but I am touched that others have visited him. 

The only blogs about type 1 diabetics I have been able to find have had it for years. I wanted to find someone who has only had it for several months to a year that I can relate with, but nothing so far. I think I am rare in getting type 1 at age 24; I have read that most people that get type 1 are children. 

So here I am.. new to blogging.. new to diabetes...